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Just sleepy. I wonder vaguely what's going to happen to all that blood I left at Carly's. And I decide I'll clean it up, I'll clean it all up because at least it's one mess I can fix.And I think I'm saying sorry to Carly, over and over again, and it's making her cry but I can't stop it.I feel a little better when the stitches are in and they're wrapping my hand up, even though my hand stings and feels like a bunch of raw nerves. I can see Carly off to the side, PearPhone to her ear, and I know she's calling my mom. And I feel like telling her not to bother, because even if my mom was somehow awake and sober, she still wouldn't care. And then she's coming back, and I can tell she couldn't reach her. And even though that's what I expected it still feels like a kick in the gut. But she's smiling and trying to be brave. For me."Hey Sam, how you feelin'?"I laughed, "You should see the other guy." And I'm putting on as much bravado as I can at the moment, but it's coming through a little. She sighed wearily, covering my arms with her own and squeezing me back as best she could in her position. I began to formulate a new strategy in my head. I had tried everything I could think of to let me do it. I had even begged on my hand and knees, eyes level with my target, and she still denied me. She would not let me go down on her. I didn’t feel like I was asking for anything outrageous, just a chance to pleasure my girl. She was afraid, because the only person to ever do that to her was her mother, and when I had tried to do it in the past, she always became afraid and the mood was shattered. It was only me going down on her that she had a problem with. I could fuck her six ways from Sunday and she would enjoy it every time. I had never yet asked her for a blowjob on the account that she always seemed to be the one who wanted to do it, and not just to keep me happy either. She appeared to genuinely enjoy it, becoming rather frustrated when I would deflate after she swallowed.
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